This Is Porter

This Is Porter

This Is Porter

Get Him To The Greek

Now this adventure into Hollywoodland will not let you down. This film is centered around a fellow named Aldous Snow. Mr. Snow is a rock star, a drug addict, and mostly a very sad fellow. A failing record mogul, who is wading in a waning music industry, is looking for a huge infusion of cash, with one big outbreak artist. Instead one of his employees Aaron Green, speaks out that a performance by Aldous Snow will be the "Game Changer". Now not to ruin this flick for those who have yet to see this wonderful film, I will just say this, Get Him To The Greek, is now my go to movie when I need to laugh. The nightmare of getting a drug addicted rock star, from London to L.A. is no easy task. Two thumbs up! Light up a Jeffery, and wash it down with a Gin & Tonic.

The Other Guys

The other day I took a two hour break. During that two hours, I wanted to laugh my balls off. Too bad for me I rented The Other Guys. I do not recommend this movie at all. Try not to get swept in by the funny trailers you may come across. In the trailers, this movie seems to be very slap your knees ha ha funny. Yet it is as funny as having poop running down your legs, while you are being screamed at by your boss. Now I know it was a movie making fun of cop movies, yet when things are overdone, it comes off campy and droll. Why did they add two small cameo rolls, of "David Wallace" & "Gabe" from The Office? Just because you throw in two semi good actors, and a supporting cast of "Other" semi good talent, does not make a movie great. This flick gets two big thumbs down, and a bucket full of vomit in protest.

Ruined Lunch By Foul Mouths

Saturday is the day I get to spend time with my three year old daughter. Those who listen to my radio gig, know all about that drama. These Saturday's are special to me, and more so for her. Today I, my brother, and my daughter, went to a place named Brain's for lunch. This is a place that my daughter's mother and I would go to eat, while she was pregnant with our little one. So it holds some emotional value to me, as one of my happy place's. Let me say this first off, I am a reformed loud mouth swearer. I had for way too many years a gutter mouth in public. With not one ounce of thought or care who I may of offended. Which after today, I totally get and am embarrassed of my former ways. With that said, lucky for the foul mouth mother fucker, that ruined my daddy daughter lunch today, that I am a reformed non hate filled person. I would of loved, to have smashed this cock sucking foul mouth prick, right in his ugly curse filled mouth with a broken coffee cup. 


Maybe because I had spent the last few years living in the wonderful mid-west. Or maybe I have grown up so much since the birth of my daughter, it made my stomach turn, that not only I, my daughter, and my brother, plus the rest of the people eating at Brain's, that had to hear some gutter trash maggot talk like that. I would never have heard language like that in any eatery in the mid-west. If that went on the manager would of thrown the trouble makers out on their foul mouthed asses. Yet here in rudeville California no one said anything. If I was not with my daughter, I would of sounded off on the rude fuckers. Yet since I was with my little lump of love I held my tongue, had our food boxed to go and left. That is one difference between living in a shit hole like San Diego California, and the nice down to earth place like Davenport Iowa. By the way you fucking assholes, who kept saying at the top of your lungs, that you have to go to band practice, I am sure your band sucks monkey taint. Grow up you suck!

Fast Food

All fast food is mostly evil. It is not healthy for you to consume by any means. We that said, I do consume some of the worst fast food on the planet. Come on I am a fat guy, with bad eating habits, of course I roll to the deep fryer to get a meal or two. Now in reality I only get fast food at most once a week, cause the darn fact is plain and simple, I am getting old, and carrying this load around gets a bit harder every year. If you are going to eat fast food, there is one place I recommend In & Out, simple the freshest, darn tooting the best tasting of any fast food burger joint. Now we all love Mexican food too, so if you have one near by go to a Adalberto's, for a shrimp burrito, or their yummy five beef rolled tacos's. Now to get to what has been bugging me today......

Last night I rented a few movies, I wanted a burger to eat for dinner as I watched a movie. I had not had a Carl's Jr. Western Bacon Cheese Burger in over five years. Sounded like a treat to me. Here is where it all went wrong. First the drive through was packed eight car's deep at ten p.m., so my thought was great the food will be fresh and hot. I get to the order menu, I say yes I would like a number blah with a order of onion rings and a Dr. Pepper. My bad luck was this crew was working tonight.

So the guy talking says, you want fries with that. I say no onion rings. WHAT...onion rings...LARGE? ....yes large would be perfect. Now I am always extra nice to those making or serving my food. Since I do not want spit or floor sweepings in my grub. Yet I knew my food was going to fucked from jump street. As I get to the window to pay and get said grub. Forrest Gump's less smarter gay cousin is working the window. I pay the 8 bucks and change for food I knew was fucked. This location of Carl's Jr. is on El Cajon BVLD in San Diego, you can refer to my yelp review to get exact location. Do not go there! I did not get onion rings, or anything that looked like onion rings. Instead I got a large box of soggy fries, that my fat ass dog did not even want to eat. My soda pop, was without syrup, since it was a large soda water. I can not bitch about the burger. This is way fast food sucks, before you say you should of complained right then and there, re read my fear of getting non-clean food. I would rather write bad reviews and blogs. 


www.drunkintheam.yelp.com

When Your Bar Lowers Or Goes Higher

I do think we all have times in our lives that we decide, to either raise or lower the bar. Now I must say I am not talking about a watering hole. The bar of life, that goes up when we are doing well, or lowers when we are not doing well. I think now at this time I am willing to lower my bar. It has been lowered by events, where I am trying to do the right thing. Why is it when you do right things tend to go wrong. Why is it when you do wrong things go splendidly wonderful. This time I am thinking of lowering the bar when it comes to women. I know you are thinking really dude, when was that bar ever high. No matter what you may think of my former loves, to me I loved them all completely. Those of you who do not listen to my radio show may not get my references. I have been wondering that, since I have loved what I thought were nice women, who ended up stabbing me in the face, that maybe I should find a woman that lives in a garbage can. She can have a bad attitude, she can be mean, she can be abusive to me, and she can say the most horrid things to me. It would be a step up from my last relationship. Now I have done my over six months of not dating, pursuing women, or pining for the one that hurt me so. I think you most spend at least six months scrubbing the last one from your soul as much as you can. Which is very difficult when you had a child with that person. When I look at my daughter I see myself, I see all that is good in me, I think it would be harder if I say her mother in her. I know that we always find our next love when we are not looking for that person. I sit at times wondering who that will be. I hope is a woman that will be happy with the person I am, and not the person they think I should be. I have only met a few couples  who love each other dearly, and in this day in age that seems priceless, I hope that I can join the ranks of those few one day. If not then I know I can be very happy as a crabby old bastard, that can continue to give the world the middle finger. So here to lowering the bar, until I find that special lady to raise it with.